Goals have always been a very important part in my life. Ever since the age of twelve, I had goals. They ranged from spiritual, physical, schooling, dating, swimming, friends, and whatever else I felt like I needed to improve on. Right now, I have a lot of goals--take the MCAT in a year, finish my medical school prerequisites, go on two dates each month, continue to get straight "A's," etc. If you didn't notice, one important aspect of my goals are missing--the spiritual goals. I don't really have any spiritual goals right now. The main reason for this is because I am not sure which goals to have.

As you can see from my other blog, I am not ready for marriage so that isn't one of my goals right now and I'm not preparing for it. I have kind of lost my spiritual goals when I was denied from going on a mission. A year ago, I had plenty of spiritual goals because I was preparing for marriage. They ranged from bearing my testimony in church, participating in the discussions in Sunday school and Elder's Quorum, reading my scriptures daily, praying morning and night, and going on a mission. The truth is that I did pretty well on some of these goals, but with others I flopped on. That was ok with me just as long as I was trying to achieve them. I did those things and I felt prepared to go on a mission, but due to my many mistakes the First Presidency didn't feel like I should go. I was fine with this and I understand why they felt this way.

I am still fine with their decision, but the consequences of their decisions have been hitting me hard. My life has changed drastically and I have to find new goals to work on. What spiritual goals does a twenty year old have besides getting married in the temple? I have no idea! That's where I'm stuck. I'm not sure to do. I go to church, participate, and I have put service mission papers in. I try to read my scriptures and I try to pray. What else am I supposed to do? I feel like I should be doing more, but I don't know what to do. I was hoping that putting my service mission papers in and getting called to a service mission would help me out, but it hasn't. I am still waiting to be called and still missing goals. I guess I just have to keep living life and maybe I'll find some goals. I still think that the service mission will help me find some because it gives me a calling and a purpose in the Church.


Michael said...

I think that participating in church, reading your scriptures, praying, and giving service are all great spiritual goals. You might also add going to the temple once or twice a month or something. (That is a strong but worthwhile goal.) I think with these goals you should feel plenty of spiritual direction and purpose in the church, even if you don't have a "big" one like serving a full-time mission or getting married.

The types of goals I mentioned above are the types of goals that most married returned missionaries have. They are the type of spiritual goals that most people work on for their whole life and are happy with for a very long time. They aren't easy goals or anything, but they're just as important. They're the goals that are stable for a long time. I think they help most members of the church be spiritually stable, too.

-AZO- said...

Just wanted to say that you are pretty admirable.

you'll probably be the amazing Neurosurgeon who everyone likes. I've worked with a few, back when I was doing pre-med. ^_^ (that makes it sound like forever ago, it was only like a couple years heh)