It's Been Awhile...


It's been awhile since I've written on this blog. Sorry about that. I know some of you find my deeper thoughts more interesting than my random stories, thoughts, and adventures. As I have been writing my medical school applications, I have gone on a journey of self-discovery. I have learned so much about myself as I have poured over essays, thought about my life, and lived life! It has been an exciting time. In due time, I'll share some of my discoveries with you.

Right now, I want to talk about a quote I put up on my blog awhile ago and how it relates to my life (this goes along with the learning from medical school applications theme that will be my next couple of posts). Here is the quote so you don't have to go back and read it: "We think that when we are driven out of the usual path, everything is over for us; but it is just here that the new and the good begins. As long as there is life, there is happiness. There is much, much before us!" -Tolstoy

When I first discovered my attraction for men in high school, I thought myself as a sinner. I didn't believe that I had any worth on this earth and that I wasn't meant to be here. This soon changed when I entered college. Being gay and "abnormal" (that's how I used to see myself) drove me out of my original path. I thought that life was over for me. I hated my life. I hated God. I hated my family. I hated the whole world. However, my journey in college has completely changed that perspective. Coming to terms with myself helped me realize that "the new and the good begins" here and that my path is new, but great. I have experienced life to its fullest in my time at college. I have lived, laughed, and loved (it's cliche, I know). My path may not have been what I expected or wanted it to be, but I'm perfectly fine with that now. I have realized that "as long as there is life, there is happiness." This quote has directly applied to my life and I'm sure that it can apply to everybody.

My life is going to keep living and I'm not going to fall behind my life and sit in a dark corner. That part of my life is past. I'm always going to be there jumping in leaps and bounds because I have worth, I have a purpose, and I have passion. I have so much before me and I never want to be left behind again.