"I called Jesus but he didn't check his phone today..."
-"Miss California" by Jack's Mannequin
This seems to happen a lot to me. I feel like I never get answers and that I never receive the help that I need. It makes me feel like God isn't involved intricately in each of our lives like the Church has always taught me. I know that people will tell me that my prayers will be answered in God's own time.
This begs me to ask the question where was He during my middle school and high school years and whenever I need Him? For those of you who know my history better, you'll understand what I am talking about but for those who don't, I'll give you a brief little history. At the age of twelve, I was addicted to pornography. I discovered that I was gay, yet was in utter denial because I thought being gay in the Church doesn't happen. I hated myself. It seemed like my friends hated me too because a lot of my close friends ditched me once I entered middle school and then ditched me again and again in high school. Where was He then? I called, but he didn't answer his phone. He seemed to never answer his phone in the times that I needed him most. He still doesn't answer.
I do believe in God and Jesus, but are they really involved personally in my life? I'm having a hard time believing that and I guess I have always had trouble believing that since around the age of 12.
Again, "I called Jesus but he didn't check his phone today..."