I have always wanted to be an extraordinary person. Ever since I was little, I would always crave to be the fastest, strongest, smartest, funniest, and whatever else I could be. My little body would always push the limits and achieve many great things. I would climb the biggest tree in the neighborhood, win the school geography bee, practice swimming everyday, and many other things so I could be an extraordinary person.

After growing up and becoming who I am today, I still crave and feel the need to be extraordinary. My childhood was littered with accomplishments and I still want to achieve all of my goals. Adult life, however, is different than childhood. There are more roadblocks. Trials also become harder. Life in general is filled with mundaneness. As I grow older, it becomes harder and harder to achieve my goals.

When I was little, I had the dream of being an Olympic swimmer. I didn't care if I made the podium or not. All that I wanted to be was a swimmer swimming for the USA. This dream was coupled with being a collegiate swimmer. This dream was crushed two years ago when I was cut from the BYU swim team. That was a difficult time for me. That was the first time that I didn't accomplish a goal that I had set for myself. I was crushed and entered a depression that I had never felt before. I had an amazing friend help me through that time, but that amazing friend also help me not achieve another dream from my childhood (I'll talk about this later). My friend pushed me to continue to swim and try out for the team next year. At first, it was really easy to continue my schedule of training and remembering my goals. This, however, didn't last. School, work, friends, and life got in the way. I soon gave up on my goal. I didn't achieve this goal and in a sense I feel like I have lost a part of my extraordinariness.

The thing is that I haven't lost any part of my extraordinariness. I have become extraordinary in a different way. I am now a swim coach and all of my swimmers love me. I was at a meet this past weekend and everybody told me that I did an amazing job at coaching and that they were grateful for me being there. That made me feel really good inside. It helped me feel that I was still extraordinary. That I was an influence on the lives of others to do good.

Another dream that was crushed happened this year. I wanted to serve a mission, but this dream was crushed because of things I had done with the friend mentioned above and partially due to Crohn's Disease. I have been struggling with this for awhile. I feel like I have let down myself and God causing me to lose my extraordinariness. This, however, is not true. I know that God has a different plan for me now and this involves serving a church service mission. I can be an extraordinary person when I do this. Just like how my path changed in swimming. I'll be able to befriend and hopefully influence many people that I am serving.

It seems like my hunt for extraordinariness leads me in my life that keeps living. It leads me to where I am supposed to be and where I am supposed to be extraordinary. I may not be extraordinary in the ways that I want to be, but I am extraordinary in the ways that I am supposed to be.


Anonymous said...

I had some similar thoughts today when reading "The Other Side of Heaven." Groberg talks about when he was on his mission in the South Pacific, he had an appointment to teach a family at a distant island, but there was no wind for the sail boat. Everyone prayed and prayed for wind, but it never came. Finally, after many prayers were prayed, an older man told Groberg to get into the little paddle boat -- the old man paddled him to shore to teach the family. Groberg then said:

"How often do we not do more because we pray for wind and none comes? We pray for good things and they don't seem to happen, so we sit and wait and do no more... We should never stop moving because we think our way is barred or the only door we can go through is seemingly closed...

"[God] gave him the strength to be His wind that day, and He will give us the strength to be His wind when necessary."