Personal Statement... Please Vote!

Here are two drafts of my personal statement for my application. Please vote on which one you like better. They are very similar, but they are structured differently. Thanks everyone! :)

Choice #1

I almost died at the age of ten. The first night of spring break I became very sick. My parents thought it was the flu because I had nausea and abdominal pain with a high fever. Later, I started throwing up and all my symptoms became worse so my parents took me to the hospital. After a series of tests, the doctors determined that I had appendicitis. The attending surgeon was already performing several other surgeries and did not have enough time to perform mine. The on-call surgeon refused to come in because he had to be to the airport early in the morning. The doctors could not find anyone to operate. The hospital called other hospitals to see if anyone would operate on me. In the meantime, my condition was worsening. Finally, a surgeon agreed to help, but he was in another hospital thirty minutes away. He was about to end his shift, but he agreed to wait for me. By the time we made it to the hospital, my appendix was close to bursting and the surgery had to be performed immediately. This surgeon was the first one to inspire me to become a doctor because he waited for me and saved my life. More importantly, he taught me to treat others how I wanted to be treated.

Recently, my old gastroenterologist did not treat me how I want to be treated and I suffered. A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. I was terribly sick for about a year and was not showing any signs of getting better. My doctor performed test after test on me and thought my Crohn’s was in remission even though I was still in pain. After one of the tests, he told my parents that I was making everything up. After that accusation, we changed doctors. The new doctor performed the same tests and found similar results as the previous doctor, but he still believed me. He promised me that he would continue working with me until I started feeling better. He eventually discovered that my current medications were not having their full effect. He then prescribed new medications and I have progressively gotten better. Now, I am feeling much healthier and I am almost back to my normal self. As I have dealt with this new doctor, I have been further inspired to become a doctor because he treats me how I want to be treated.

When I am sick, I want to be treated with the best treatments, the best care, and therefore the best doctors. This means that I will try to become the best doctor that I can be and go the extra mile so that I can give my patients the best care. To me, the best doctor is one who is nice, willing to listen, and concerned for his patients. He is willing to spend time with his patients and help them in any way possible. This type of doctor would also be willing to do research and work until the problems with the patient are solved. He also will not give up or claim that the patient is wrong if he cannot discover the answer. Most importantly, the best doctor has a love for others and wants them to live better, healthier lives. This is the type of doctor that I want to be treated by and this is the type of doctor that I will strive to become.

All throughout my life, I have tried to treat others the best that I can. This is evident in my dealings with people of all ages. When I am working with my younger swimmers on the Utah Valley Aquatics team, I give those children the attention they need to become the best swimmers that they can possibly be. I work with them and I want them to succeed. This attitude is carried over when I am volunteering for Timpview High School swim team. I want to help the students achieve their goals and dreams. There are times when I get up at 4:30 AM to meet with them and give them one-on-one instruction. Also, I am able to help them in personal aspects of their lives. They know that I am there to help them. I give the same treatment when I am helping customers in Poco Loco Swim Shop. As manager and store clerk, my job is to try to make the customer satisfied so that they will return in the future, and this is done by helping them. Then when they return to the store, the customer knows that I am there to assist them. Finally, volunteering at the retirement home, I spend hours listening to the elderly. I hear their life stories and see the happiness on their faces when I show interest in their lives. Besides talking with them, I also make crafts with them and I have the pleasure of seeing the joy on their faces in performing a simple activity with them. I go the extra mile to treat others in a good way because this is how I want to be treated. As a doctor, I will carry this exact same attitude in my practice.

We need more doctors go the extra mile and treat others with the best care, which is why I want to become a doctor. I have personally felt the effect of two doctors who have gone the extra mile to help me and treat me. From their care and examples, I have been emulating them and treating others how I want to be treated. I have seen profound effects from doing this. I know that I can help many people by becoming the best doctor and treating people with the best care.

Choice #2

When I am sick, I want to be treated with the best treatments, the best care, and therefore the best doctors. This means that I will try to become the best doctor that I can be and go the extra mile so that I can give my patients the best care. To me, the best doctor is one who is nice, willing to listen, and concerned for his patients. He is willing to spend time with his patients and help them in any way possible. This type of doctor would also be willing to do research and work until the problems with the patient are solved. He also will not give up or claim that the patient is wrong if he cannot discover the answer. Most importantly, the best doctor has a love for others and wants them to live better, healthier lives. This is the type of doctor that I want to be treated by and this is the type of doctor that I will strive to become.

Treating others how I wanted to be treated has been a big part of my life since my first interaction with an ER surgeon. I almost died at the age of ten. The first night of spring break I became very sick. My parents thought it was the flu because I had nausea and abdominal pain with a high fever. Later, I started throwing up and all my symptoms became worse so my parents took me to the hospital. After a series of tests, the doctors determined that I had appendicitis. The attending surgeon was already performing several other surgeries and did not have enough time to perform mine. The on-call surgeon refused to come in because he had to be to the airport early in the morning. The doctors could not find anyone to operate. The hospital called other hospitals to see if anyone would operate on me. In the meantime, my condition was worsening. Finally, a surgeon agreed to help, but he was in another hospital thirty minutes away. He was about to end his shift, but he agreed to wait for me. By the time we made it to the hospital, my appendix was close to bursting and the surgery had to be performed immediately. This surgeon was the first one to inspire me to become a doctor because he waited for me and saved my life. More importantly, he taught me to treat others how I wanted to be treated.

Recently, my old gastroenterologist did not treat me how I want to be treated and I suffered. A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. I was terribly sick for about a year and was not showing any signs of getting better. My doctor performed test after test on me and thought my Crohn’s was in remission even though I was still in pain. After one of the tests, he told my parents that I was making everything up. After that accusation, we changed doctors. The new doctor performed the same tests and found similar results as the previous doctor, but he still believed me. He promised me that he would continue working with me until I started feeling better. He eventually discovered that my current medications were not having their full effect. He then prescribed new medications and I have progressively gotten better. Now, I am feeling much healthier and I am almost back to my normal self. As I have dealt with this new doctor, I have been further inspired to become a doctor because he treats me how I want to be treated.

All throughout my life, I have tried to treat others the best that I can. This is evident in my dealings with people of all ages. When I am working with my younger swimmers on the Utah Valley Aquatics team, I give those children the attention they need to become the best swimmers that they can possibly be. I work with them and I want them to succeed. This attitude is carried over when I am volunteering for Timpview High School swim team. I want to help the students achieve their goals and dreams. There are times when I get up at 4:30 AM to meet with them and give them one-on-one instruction. I am also able to help them in personal aspects of their life. They know that I am there to aid them. I give the same treatment when I am helping customers in Poco Loco Swim Shop. As manager and store clerk, my job is to try to make the customer satisfied so that they will return in the future, and this is done by helping them. Then when they return to the store, the customer knows that I am there to assist them. Finally, volunteering at the retirement home, I spend hours listening to the elderly. I hear their life stories and see the happiness on their faces when I show interest in their lives. Besides talking with them, I also make crafts with them and I have the pleasure of seeing the joy on their faces in performing a simple activity with them. I go the extra mile to treat others in a good way because this is how I want to be treated. As a doctor, I will carry this exact same attitude in my practice.

We need more doctors go the extra mile and treat others with the best care, which is why I want to become a doctor. I have personally felt the effect of two doctors who have gone the extra mile to help me and treat me. From their care and examples, I have been emulating them and treating others how I want to be treated. I have seen profound effects from doing this. I know that I can help many people by becoming the best doctor and treating people with the best care.

The Score Is In...

The score is in... I actually got it on the 2nd... I haven't had time to post my score because I have been CELEBRATING! :) I met my goal of a 35 and got a 36! I'm so stoked! I can't really even describe all of the feelings I'm feeling right now. It is just amazing! I DID IT!

For those of you who don't know, the MCAT is graded out of 45 and on a curve. The average of the test is 24 and the average of getting into medical school is about a 30. Getting a 33 on the test puts you in the 90th percentile of those who took the test and get a 36 puts me in about the 95th-96th percentile! I'm way excited with my score! All of my hard work paid off and I can go to a lot of good schools and hopefully receive some scholarship money! All that I have to do is finish all of my applications and get them in. I'm hoping to get all of them in by the end of July. Then it's waiting for interviews and then acceptance letters. It's an exciting time in my life right now and a great adventure! I'm on the road to fulfilling what I believe my purpose here in life is.

Thanks everyone for you support! :)

Clear Broth to Stew

And I had to be alone because anyone who came near me invaded me. Only in the absence of people could I boil myself down to a clear broth and add things a little at a time. Occasionally I would venture out into the world with someone else as my escort, but it guaranteed nothing. Each random moment of interaction held danger.

-Julie Gregory, Sickened

I wrote this a while ago in this post. Now, as you may have noticed, I am starting to write again. I am learning and growing. I have started to become what I have wanted to become again and things are really going well for me.

This process of going from a clear broth to an amazing stew was a hard one, but it was well worth it. I am glad that I set forth on the journey and decided to leave the MoHo world to discover myself and to become what I wanted to. I have truly never been happier. I don't have the best life, but I don't care because I am what I am and I love what I am.

What was this process of making a most delicious stew?

It started out with making goals for myself. They were just small things that I wanted to do. One of them was a small item of service every day. This could be as simple as holding a door open for someone, saying hello to someone who looked down, helping someone out with homework, or just being a friend to someone who needed one. Another one was to focus on what I am passionate about. I started focusing on school, research, work, and developing a better relationship with my family. I then made goals of what I wanted to do in the future--where I wanted to be in five years, ten years, and so on. I then decided to structure my life around how to achieve my goals. I did make some spiritual goals too, but I don't want to share them because they are personal and private.

These goals structured my life and have allowed my growth. They have allowed me to add certain ingredients, if you will, into my clear broth. They have given me direction during hard times, they have given me strength, and they have given me desire to accomplish what I set out to do. I can proudly say that I have been accomplishing my short and long term goals and I hope to continue to accomplish them.

Goals were an excellent starting point, but there was also a lot of introspection going on too. I would look at the past, look at my motives, and look at my mistakes. I learned a lot by doing this and it helped me develop a healthy sense of who I am in certain situations and how desires, moods, and many of things can change depending on the situation I am in. With all of this in mind, I have taken proactive approaches to keep me out of situations where I know I act how I do not want to act. The introspection was also looking at myself and seeing/believing that I could achieve my goals.

The last major thing that I did was to not beat myself up if I made a mistake that set me back from my goals and ultimately who I wanted to become. I eventually realized that everybody makes mistakes and it is how the person responds to the mistake the situation that has been created because of that mistake that makes them who they are. If who we are is determined by our mistakes, we would all be failures and never make the Celestial Kingdom. That is how I came to this realization.

I'm sure that there is a lot more that I did that helped me develop this stew that is me, but these are the things that stand out to me and strike me as important.

Here is to a new and better life... Cheers!

Goals

Goals have always been a very important part in my life. Ever since the age of twelve, I had goals. They ranged from spiritual, physical, schooling, dating, swimming, friends, and whatever else I felt like I needed to improve on. Right now, I have a lot of goals--take the MCAT in a year, finish my medical school prerequisites, go on two dates each month, continue to get straight "A's," etc. If you didn't notice, one important aspect of my goals are missing--the spiritual goals. I don't really have any spiritual goals right now. The main reason for this is because I am not sure which goals to have.

As you can see from my other blog, I am not ready for marriage so that isn't one of my goals right now and I'm not preparing for it. I have kind of lost my spiritual goals when I was denied from going on a mission. A year ago, I had plenty of spiritual goals because I was preparing for marriage. They ranged from bearing my testimony in church, participating in the discussions in Sunday school and Elder's Quorum, reading my scriptures daily, praying morning and night, and going on a mission. The truth is that I did pretty well on some of these goals, but with others I flopped on. That was ok with me just as long as I was trying to achieve them. I did those things and I felt prepared to go on a mission, but due to my many mistakes the First Presidency didn't feel like I should go. I was fine with this and I understand why they felt this way.

I am still fine with their decision, but the consequences of their decisions have been hitting me hard. My life has changed drastically and I have to find new goals to work on. What spiritual goals does a twenty year old have besides getting married in the temple? I have no idea! That's where I'm stuck. I'm not sure to do. I go to church, participate, and I have put service mission papers in. I try to read my scriptures and I try to pray. What else am I supposed to do? I feel like I should be doing more, but I don't know what to do. I was hoping that putting my service mission papers in and getting called to a service mission would help me out, but it hasn't. I am still waiting to be called and still missing goals. I guess I just have to keep living life and maybe I'll find some goals. I still think that the service mission will help me find some because it gives me a calling and a purpose in the Church.